I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
