soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize