bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
