never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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