we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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