Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize