Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
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Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you had me at cake vodka
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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