is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
