We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
