all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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