Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
