You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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