She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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