you have to choose: penises or morals?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
