Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He? As in you personified your dick?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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