Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
