She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
