And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
