if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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