paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
