He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
