We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she told me i tasted like america
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
