hotel room ftw
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
