he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
