she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
