Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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