She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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