The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
