We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
