Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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