I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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