Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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