We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
