Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
