Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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