just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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