so explain again why im purple
no
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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