I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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