I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize