Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
