i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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