So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
