I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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