I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
MIDGETS
????
Randomize