The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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