is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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