sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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