I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
