As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
