I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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