I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
