Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
