Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
