he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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